F!

2006-02-06T04:32:00.000-03:00

After my hiatus, I am going to start a new project using this blog. Pissing off right wing assholes. Like THIS ONE
What a dick hole. Seriously. I want to cut this guy's ass open with a coat hanger and rape him using the blood as lube. FUCK!

Fuck.

2005-11-12T20:18:00.000-03:00

No Title Necessary...

2005-10-31T02:16:00.000-03:00

CUM ON MY RETAINER AND I'LL PUT IT BACK IN MY MOUTH

click here

Young singers spread message of hate

2005-10-23T16:24:00.000-03:00

(as jacked from ABC news)

Young Singers Spread Racist Hate
Duo Considered the Olsen Twins of the White Nationalist Movement
Nazi Twins 2

Singers Lamb and Lynx Gaede may look like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, but their songs send a message of White Nationalism that some call dangerous. (ABC News)

Oct. 20, 2005 — Thirteen-year-old twins Lamb and Lynx Gaede have one album out, another on the way, a music video, and lots of fans.

They may remind you another famous pair of singers, the Olsen Twins, and the girls say they like that. But unlike the Olsens, who built a media empire on their fun-loving, squeaky-clean image, Lamb and Lynx are cultivating a much darker personna. They are white nationalists and use their talents to preach a message of hate.

Known as "Prussian Blue" — a nod to their German heritage and bright blue eyes — the girls from Bakersfield, Calif., have been performing songs about white nationalism before all-white crowds since they were nine.

"We're proud of being white, we want to keep being white," said Lynx. "We want our people to stay white … we don't want to just be, you know, a big muddle. We just want to preserve our race."

Lynx and Lamb have been nurtured on racist beliefs since birth by their mother April. "They need to have the background to understand why certain things are happening," said April, a stay-at-home mom who no longer lives with the twins' father. "I'm going to give them, give them my opinion just like any, any parent would."

April home-schools the girls, teaching them her own unique perspective on everything from current to historical events. In addition, April's father surrounds the family with symbols of his beliefs — specifically the Nazi swastika. It appears on his belt buckle, on the side of his pick-up truck and he's even registered it as his cattle brand with the Bureau of Livestock Identification.

"Because it's provocative," explains April of the cattle brand, "to him he thinks it's important as a symbol of freedom of speech that he can use it as his cattle brand."

Teaching Hate

Songs like "Sacrifice" — a tribute to Nazi Rudolf Hess, Hitler's deputy Fuhrer — clearly show the effect of the girls' upbringing. The lyrics praise Hess as a "man of peace who wouldn't give up."

"It really breaks my heart to see those two girls spewing out that kind of garbage," said Ted Shaw, civil rights advocate and president of the NAACP's Legal Defense Fund — though Shaw points out that the girls aren't espousing their own opinions but ones they're being taught.

I fucking hate my job at the moment...

2005-10-18T18:18:00.000-03:00

...anyone wanna trade?

I swear that I have NEVER been unhappier with a job situation than I am right now. I didn't spend two-thirds of my life going through the whole (and as I see it now, quite bogus) education process to figuratively end up "back at the bottom of the food chain", as it seems in my current position. I mean, GODDAMN! When I started this job about two and a half years ago, I had my own lab, my own technicians, and successfully developed a brand-new research facility that brought a technology to the institute that was lacking before I joined. What now? A technician who happens to be the fucking wife of one of the faculty members joined five months ago...and has been GIVEN the facility that I started...as well as my former technicians. I quite literally have no independently-designated research space at all right now. FUCK!!!!! Again, I say FUCK! Nepotism fucking sucks and is (of course) not legally endorsed by the university medical center to which our smaller research institute belongs, but there's not even a way to turn it in without anyone at my institute of course realizing who had done so.

In brief: I adore science but hate politics. Hell, it's a wonder anything useful is even accomplished in the World of research given how much ass-kissing and sleeping with superiors is apparently required to advance (or even stay afloat, for that matter) professionally. Add to that the fact that, in order to get grants, science is governed to a surprisingly large extent upon the concept of "publish or perish". It is so important to maintain a long list of publications to obtain grant funding...and even at that, in journals that are considered to be "better" than others (yup, snobbery is BEYOND alive and well in this profession)...that, in an increasingly frequent manner, the concept of a manuscript comes before the actual research: "Gee, Dr. X, this idea would have enough impact that we should write a paper about it; do you think that Drs. Y and Z will be able to come up with the proper data to support it?". I shit you NOT AT ALL on this.

SO, the next time you read any news blurb relating to scientific discoveries of any sort, keep in mind the fact that those behind the research are NOT thinking of the "betterment of mankind" in the least; the scientists were thinking of nothing more than themselves...and even beyond the publication aspect, whether or not they can patent their "discoveries" and crawl into bed with a pharmaceutical company for financial gain.

Oh, and for an even sicker side-note: the director of my institute has already begun to outline what experimental results he "thinks" he needs to generate (or fabricate) in order to garner a Nobel prize nomination.

This fucking SUCKS.

How do you kill a fox?

2005-10-17T01:18:00.000-03:00

Cut off one of his legs and make him run across Canada...

Joke of the Week

2005-10-17T01:12:00.000-03:00

A man is driving along a curvy road that runs along a canyon cliff face. He goes around a corner and sees a little girl standing at the edge of the road looking down into the canyon. He stops his car and gets out. The girl is bruised, battered, and crying inconsolably. As he approaches her he sees smoke coming up from a car that has gone over the cliff. The girl's family was inside the car and she was the only survivor. He looks at her sympathetically and says "boy, this is really your unlucky day" as he unzips his pants...

2005-10-16T10:55:00.000-03:00

Holy Fuck!

2005-10-16T10:54:00.000-03:00

America, fuck yeah!

2005-10-16T10:53:00.000-03:00

Fucking Awesome!

Avian Bird Flu Pandemic Begins

2005-10-14T01:09:00.000-03:00

The first human-to-human transfer of the avian flu strain H5N1 has been documented in the Czech Republic, sources said Thursday. The WHO has confirmed the intial spread of the disease but has urged both the public and world leaders to remain calm. A small town has been quarantined, but neither the WHO or US health officials will verify the location or population affected.

Fucking Google-icious

2005-10-14T01:07:00.000-03:00

Google reveals its 300-year plan

Chief executive Eric Schmidt estimates that Google won't manage to index all the world's information until around the 24th century.

It could take 300 years to index all the world's information and make it searchable, Google's chief executive Eric Schmidt predicted on Saturday at the Association of National Advertisers annual conference in Phoenix.

"We did a math exercise and the answer was 300 years," Schmidt said in response to an audience question asking for a projection of how long the company's mission will take. "The answer is it's going to be a very long time."

Of the approximately 5 million terabytes of information out in the world, only about 170 terabytes have been indexed, he said earlier during his speech.

Schmidt admitted to the audience of advertisers that when he first arrived at Google four years ago, he viewed ads from a sceptical consumer standpoint. Shown ads on Google, he thought "You've got to be kidding! People actually click on this stuff? And they do."

He said he quickly realised, though, that "ads actually do have value if you can figure out the right ones to show."

Technology and the interactivity it enables, such as the ability to measure an Internet ad's success rate by viewing how many people click on it, is shifting power in the advertising industry from executives at corporations to consumers, he said.

"The power is moving from us to the end user; it's occurring by the power of the personal computer, by the power of the cell phone," he said. "Thirty years ago we would make the decision [about ads]. Now, that person, that individual makes that decision."

Advertising is increasing on the Internet and cable television, and showing modest to no growth in newspapers and magazines, Schmidt said. "The cost per revenue dollar of online ad systems is so much lower than [for offline advertising]," he said.

Of the estimated $283bn spent on advertising in the United States, $11.3bn is spent on the Internet, with Google taking in about 1 percent of that, Schmidt said.

Despite the slowdown in print advertising, Google is testing a campaign in which the search giant is using its audience targeting technology to help customers place ads in magazines, he said.

Schmidt predicted there will always be ads on the Internet but that there may be an "ad-free subset" of the Internet that might offer a different way for people to pay for things, such as using micro-payments.

During the question-and-answer session, audience members turned to social, ethical and legal topics. One question dealt with criticism Google and Yahoo have received for cooperating with Chinese government censorship efforts.

"The technology is neutral. It can be applied for good or evil," he said. "Overwhelmingly, the message of technology is a positive one."

Asked to explain why Google has submitted a proposal to provide the city of San Francisco with free wireless Internet service, Schmidt said the plan arose out of work several engineers did on a system that would allow companies to make money offering such a service. "It's an interesting experiment," he said. "If it scales and if it is successful, we think it's going to be very good for the world."

Schmidt also responded to a question about complaints Google has endured, including a lawsuit filed by the Authors Guild over its plan to digitise books and make them searchable online. Google's Print Library Project adheres to US copyright law, he said. A "fair use" provision under the law allows for excerpts of copyrighted material to be used and Google will only display snippets of copyrighted text, he said. "That model seems to be durable," he said. "We're very, very careful if copyright is owned."

Wow - Find school pictures of yourself. Amazing. Fuck!

2005-10-13T09:04:00.000-03:00

Click HERE
to find school photos of yourself in any grade or school. This amazed even me.

Fucking wicked Turbans

2005-10-12T06:31:00.000-03:00

Ali G: Fuck Yeah!

2005-10-12T06:26:00.000-03:00

I've just realized that Ali G is fucking awesome. I'm downloading the whole sewries right now.

Fuckeriffic!

2005-10-12T06:23:00.000-03:00

I've decided that we're going to use the word "FUCK" in every title. Awards will go out to the most creative one.

For example:

Supercalafuckilicious...never mind. Just keep it cool. YEAH! By the way, the republican party is nothing more than a gang of criminals.

It's a rockin' world - Joe Strummer

2005-10-11T21:44:00.000-03:00

Well it's a rockin' world, make no mistake about
It's a shockin' world, could be what's so great about
It's a rockin' world, there ain't nothing fake about it

Whoa whoa, now welcome to this Earth bro
Whoa whoa, we're tryin' to find an answer
Whoa whoa, we got a surface module and a belly-dancer
On the sidewalk's earth
A boy is tryin' to show a girl what he is worth
Poke on the cashflow, but he's still gonna
Go right up and ask her

Why is it barbaric is it, biological?
Why is it kinetic is it asyphysiological?
It's an epidemic, there's nothing logically
Logical, logical, logical

It's a rockin' world, make no mistake about
It's a shockin' world, could be what's so great about
It's a rockin' world, there ain't nothing fake about it

Now why do babies cry?
I asked the cold today but all he did was fly
And he took the cynic way
The laws of chaos, left us all in disarray
Now take the bumblebee, a lousy rotten' bum
Not a shred of money just a lazy buzzin' hum
He takes all our honey and for God's sake people have got to pay, that's who...

Well we go, back to base
Can't make no error in tale of this place
But home we're returnin' back to base, ase

Can only notify when, love comes to phase
Doesn't sell the bite when the - in the initial phase
Let's all go to fight in the - DNA stage

Well it's a rockin' world, make no mistake about
It's a shockin' world, that could be what's so great about
A It's a rockin' world, there ain't nothing fake about it.

Joke Of the Century

2005-10-11T15:06:00.000-03:00

What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You can't fuck a rock!

My Fucktastic Long Weekend: Crazy Ladies and Holocaust Deniers!

2005-10-11T14:42:00.000-03:00

I'm really starting to hate the hospitality industry. You see, I began working in it because you can make a lot of money for very little work. In addition, there are lots of fun people involved - people will good social skills who are actually interesting. As I get older, however, I've become less interested in the social aspects and have noticed a distinct distaste for the customers. Here's why:

On Saturday I was kind of tired when I showed up for my shift in the lounge. When I'm tired I turn into an hilarious bastard with a sarcastic wit that has been known on occasion to annoy certain customers. Despite my tendencies towards "burning" people all night (and my obnoxious obssession with which Karate Kid movie was better...1 or 2) my night was sorta going Ok. Unfortunately, some lady walked in at about 7:30pm, sat at the bar, and although seemed nice at the outset, began to wear on me very quickly.

Hunting season is in full swing (I think) and as such we get a huge number of American hunters who've paid the big bucks to hunt Canadian animals. To be honest, I hate hunting and think that it is one of the silliest hobbies in our grocery store society. I don't understand the need to kill. That's just me, though, and generally I think the people who hunt are pretty nice - I don't judge too harshly. Next to the aforesaid woman, with whom I was having a fun if not intelligent chat, sat three hunters from Texas. Immediately the woman (who was from Winnepeg) struck up a conversation with them.

Now, whenever I speak with people from the States who sit at my bar, I find that they have an innate curiosity about my personal beliefs and culture. That's cool. I try to send them home thinking that they met at least one semi-intelligent Canadian. That is why I cringed at the horrible sound of Mrs. Winnepeg essentially painting a picture of Canada through her explanation as a nation of drunken, naive retards. She was nursing a glass of wine for about two hours and yet somehow managed to have the greatest time IN HISTORY. She was giggling, screaming, hitting on the three guys (who immediately took interest in this seemingly drunken woman who professed a serious resentment towards he husband) and made a complete ass of herself.

The display went on for several hours. Meanwhile, two people that I hadn't seen in three months came in - Francis and Lucy. To explain how complicated this made my night, read on.

Francis used to work in the same establishment as me. He was a cook from Quebec who spoke very little english and was in town to learn English. He and his wife, Lucy, had uprooted and come to Edmonton for a different cultural experience and language development. I liked them both. We went drinking one night with a few other people and has a blast. Then, Francis moved to a different job for better pay. I am terrible at keeping contact with people when it isn't convenient so I sorta lost touch with them. After a month they came in an wondered why I “did not enjoy speeking le franch no more weeth us; do we scare you? Pairhaps too much of francis et Luc-y? Pourquoi you no telephoner us to learn franch et have din-air” And so forth. I once invited them to a party I was having but it was cancelled due to rain. I just found them too needy. You know? They had some grandiose plans that my fiance and I would be their new family in Edmonton, but I just wasn't interested. I am a very private person and don't like making fast friends.

Needless to say, with the two of them standing there wondering again, why I had essentially ditched them (with better english than before) I had to attempt to attend to a fairly busy lounge, monitor the behaviour of the three hunters at the bar, and make sure I wasn't over-serving Mrs. Winnepeg. It didn't work out. I lost about thirty dollars in tips due to irrate customers who did not understand my predicament.

Here's where the night turned into garbage. We do last call at 11:30pm. I went around and told the waning crowd of people who were fine and were leaving shortly anyway. Francis and Lucy took off, and all of the people I'd given crappy service were gone. Two of the hunters had gone back to their rooms and the only people left at the bar were Mrs. Winnepeg (who was now on her third glass of wine) and the eldest of the hunters. I told them it was last call and they expressed annoyed disbelief; I served them one more each and figured the problem was over because it is illegal for me to serve people after last call. Fine.

At midnight, as I was quickly getting the bar stocked and cleaning everthing up, Mrs. Winnepeg and hunter demanded another round. I looked at them, apologized, and explained that I couldn't serve them anymore. Then the excitement started. The hunter tore into me and insisted that I hadn't informed them of closing time. I again apologized and told him that there was nothing I could do. He relaxed and signed off on his bill - he'd had a bit too much anyway. Then Mre. Winnepeg turned into the worst human being on the face of the planet. Here's our conversation:

Winnepeg: Do you know how much money my husband and I have spent here? You HAVE to give me more wine!

Me: I'm sorry. After last call I can lose my job if I serve people.

Winnepeg: YOU DIDN'T TELL US IT WAS LAST CALL!!!

Me: Yes I did. I saw you check your watch when I did. don't you remember?

Winnepeg: No! I want to speak to the manager! NOW!

Me: (smiling) Okayyy. I guarantee he'll say the exact same thing.

(I get on the phone and have a conversation with the manager who sounds annoyed - he agrees to come in)

Winnepeg: I don't know what kind of establishment treats their customers like this.

(I lose patience)

Me: Listen, regardless of last call, I feel that you've had enough wine. I don't want you to get sick. Please, I can lose my job. Come back another night.

Winnepeg: (aghast - mouth gaping open) WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU THINK I'VE HAD TOO MUCH? Oh my God! You can't do this to me. You're an asshole. AAAAAAAGH!

(manager walks in)

Manager: Ma'am, what seems to be the trouble?

Winnepeg: This asshole (referring to me) won't serve us another glass of wine...blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Manager: I fully support the bartender's decision. You've had enough. Thank you, please come back and visit another time.

Winnepeg: EXPLOSION. Screaming. Ridiculous.

(manager leaves - she's still sitting there yelling at me)

Me: (losing patience further) Listen, I make 6.50 per hour. I'm sorry you're night's riuned, but I don't get paid enough to listen to this bullshit. You can take it up with the general manager in the morning. Goodnight. Please go to your room.

Winnepeg: 6.50 an hour??!?! You fucking loser. That's nothing. Do you know how rich I am? Do you want money? How much, 50? 100? 200? You're nothing! Fuck you you asshole!!!

(I attempt to remove the last half glass of wine from her - she grabs it. I hope that it will break and cut her because at this point I hate her. Then, the pushes it at me in an attempt to hit me with the wine. I duck and it splashes all over the bar. The hunter's had enough and leaves. I threaten to call the cops. She finally storms out and continues ranting at the hotel front desk - the manager threatens to call the cops as well. She goes up to her room. My God)

And you think that is the worst of my weekend? Not at all. I got home later than usual and my fiance and I took the dog out for a late walk. One block down we heard yelling coming from an apartment. We looked over and saw some dude in a basement suite hurling stuff across the room. Through his window we can hear him yelling "I hate you. FUCK YOU! Get Out you stupid cunt" and etc. Then we heard what sounded like violent slapping and hitting. The a girl screamed bloody murder. We rushed home and called the cops. I hope the fucker was charged.

Sunday was uneventful. We had thanksgiving at my Mom's and we had a great time. I'll write about that later.

I worked thanksgiving Monday as well. It was a short night because we closed at nine. I only had two customers who ate and had a few drinks. This is the worst part of the whole long weekend.

Mr. Wolf Wertzer (I think that was his name) came in and sat down at the bar and ordered a pint and some food. I learned that he was originally German (noticible accent) and was now living in Los Angeles. He seemed like a really nice, well-travelled, interesting guy. We chatted a bit about sports even though neither of us had any interest in any kind of sport. I can’t remember how he got started, but after about two beers he tested the water with me about my attitudes towards a variety of topics. I’ve found, as a bartender, that sometimes it is easier to nod and smile that to have debates with people. This was one of the instances where that technique went completely wrong…

Here are the various things that I had to listen to:

The Nazi holocaust likely didn’t happen.
Jews are evil
The only things that matter are God and the Bible
The United States is being destroyed by Jewish control over financial interests
The end times are foretold by the Bible and we are living the final days (examples were given).
Gypsies and homosexuals should be shot
Perhaps the Jews should all be herded up and put somewhere – like the Faulkland Islands (I found that this was in stark contrast to the holocaust denial…)
Some races are useless and do no belong in western society
Protestantism is the only “right” religion
Catholics are crooked
We must abide by the laws of the bible because all of western civilization was built on it

Anyway, I was appalled by the end of the conversation. He kept leaning really close to me and he had this evil sort of look in his eyes. He’s staying in town for two weeks and I may have to see him again. Fuck. I’m buying a gun.

That was my weekend. Holy crap. Not to mention that my fiancé had surgery today – or was supposed to. The doctor was unable to find the diagnosed problem. Now she may have to do the prep all over again.

See ya.

Really long post coming today

2005-10-11T11:10:00.000-03:00

I've been working on my weekend. I'll publish by noon. Ok? Thanks for the patience.

Zaphod's Heads

2005-10-10T05:16:00.000-03:00

Click here to check out a really fucking cool blog I ran across (it is written by a fellow Canadian, no less!). I think you guys might dig it.

By "you guys", I mean Y'ALL, fellow blog-keepers; I don't GIVE a fuck one way or the other if anyone who reads our blog checks it out, because apparently only pussies find it: that's why they whine to Blogger, BlogExplosion, Blog Clicker, etc. when they can't handle it. Weak people should just kill themselves and get it over with, consentez-vous?

laters,
ariK

Thanksgiving Weekend

2005-10-08T05:16:00.000-04:00

The last two days I've been feeling like shit and I can't figure out why. I worry too fucking much. I dunno - whatever. Anyway - this is thanksgiving weekend and I'm going to eat at my Mom's on Sunday. My brothers are going to be there so the food will be wicked (they're both chefs so go figure).

]I feel bad because my Dad phoned me up today and asked if we could go to his place on Monday. I work that day (and would have booked it off if I'd known) so we can't. Generally he spends thanksgiving up at the lake but it snowed up there already so the cabin's shut down. Bah. Anyway, I feel guilty.

See ya.

Okay, so I'm not going blind...

2005-10-07T23:58:00.000-04:00

Very random subject line for people (= almost everyone), but I just wanted to state here on the coolest blog in the fucking UNIVERSE that I am, in fact, not going to go irreversibly blind in my left eye as I had feared. Blame the issue on my cat.

Go fuck yourselves if you cannot appreciate a good blog like this one, folks. You just can't handle the truth I guess.

Who Loves Indiana Jones???

2005-10-05T05:57:00.000-04:00

Click Here to read about the new movie!

2005-10-05T05:18:00.000-04:00

My Fiance and our Doggie.

Remember?

2005-10-02T05:01:00.000-04:00

Smoking

2005-10-01T06:35:00.000-04:00

What I did Last Weekend...

2005-09-30T10:26:00.000-04:00

Click HERE to see what Coerodus and I got into last week.

And Here is how to grow them...

And here's the law on the fuckers...in the UK.

One Question...

2005-09-30T04:43:00.000-04:00

WHY ON EARTH WOULD WE WANT TO STOP THE FLU PANDEMIC??? The world is already critically overpopulated. I say let it go...let the flu happen as earth's natural response to the human parasite!

Blog Explosion SUCKS ASS!

2005-09-30T00:58:00.000-04:00

2005-09-30T00:57:00.000-04:00

Holy Fuck!

2005-09-30T00:54:00.000-04:00

Australia: Possibly the WORST Country On Earth

2005-09-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

Have any of you ever met an Australian? Not Sure? Just think "When was the last time I recoiled in horror at the site of another human being" or "What the hell is that smell?" Inevitably the answer is AN AUSTRALIAN. Of all the former commonwealth nations, Australia is the poorest, least educated, stinkiest, and likely the most evil. The Prime Minister is crooked and gay. Australia is also infamous for its lack of water (which explains the hygiene...).

Anyway, to all those dirty, stupid Australians...YOU SUCK. Get a real country and go frig yourselves.

Thanks.

2005-09-28T05:38:00.000-04:00

CLICK HERE FOR ABSOLUTE HILARIOUSNESS!
(note: "hilariousness" is not an actual word)

2005-09-28T05:26:00.000-04:00

Coerodus again...

The kid from Malcolm in the Middle is Gay???

2005-09-27T18:57:00.000-04:00

Gay Boyfriend Kiss of the Week

2005-09-27T18:56:00.000-04:00

CHECK THIS LINK!

Back When Joni Mitchell used to be HOT!

2005-09-27T18:54:00.000-04:00

Ooga Chucka!

2005-09-27T18:38:00.000-04:00

I'm totally listening to the "ooga chucka" version of Hooked On a Feeling by Blue Swede. Awesome.

I have the BJ Thomas version which is kinda trippy because he's messes around with the sitar in it. There's another verson by Harry Nilsson that I don't like quite as much.
I rarely like covers of shit because they're uneccessary and don't do the original song justice. That basically means that I hate hip hop, sampling, and other garbage that "artists" put out these days. I can't understand how you can rip off somebody else's music, loop it, yell shit in the background, and call it music. What the hell?

I guess in this age of recycled ideas it's difficult - but we could at least make an attempt. We live in a society of pussy-assed pussies. Weaklings. You know.

PS - sorry to whoever this offends....REALLY sorry.

2005-09-27T03:09:00.000-04:00

Coerodus got so high last week... (how high was he?) Oh, he was pretty fucking high. Jesus Christ - in fact, he smoked at least twenty grams in a weekend and walked away. 20 FUCKING GRAMS. Holy SHIT!

2005-09-27T03:00:00.000-04:00

Have I posted This Before?

2005-09-27T02:59:00.000-04:00

What do YOU think?

2005-09-27T02:58:00.000-04:00

Meow

A joke i stole from another website

2005-09-27T00:26:00.000-04:00

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money! I'M BROKE!!!"

And she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" He said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.

A moral quandary...

2005-09-25T03:42:00.000-04:00

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

THE SITUATION:
You are in New Orleans.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.

It's the President, George W. Bush.

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options - you can save the life of the President, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most famous men.

THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.......

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

Dallas report (a cross-post, but fuck off if you have a problem with it!)

2005-09-23T21:06:00.000-04:00

Tina's outermost weak bands began to visibly greet Dallas at about 3:00pm (CDT) today. :-) The stark contrast of the cloud fronts rolling in from the E/NE with the clear blue skies that have dominated here over the past few weeks is just beautiful, and I imagine it will grow ever more so throughout the weekend. I snapped a picture (below) at around 4:00, when I went out for a late lunch, to share here. Unfortunately, except for stopping by the lab tomorrow morning to tend some cell cultures, admiring the sky is probably the most meaningful thing that I'll be doing over the weekend. Aside from watching football and a much-anticipated Heavyweight match Saturday night (Wladimir Klitschko vs. Samuel Peter; you can catch it on HBO at 9:00pm CDT, if you're a slight boxing freak like myself), it's simply not going to be a wise idea to get out and about in the city...and it has NOTHING to do with physical aspects of the storm but rather (still!) the semi-insane status of the average Dallas residents. Uh huh, I know it's been mentioned on both Wednesday and yesterday, but the level of "Absolute Ridiculous" reached an all-time high this evening (in my opinion, at least) when someone at the quickie-mart near the institute where I work stabbed one of the clerks upon hearing that there was no more gas. What the fuck?!? Sheer insanity. On a significantly lighter yet equally psychotic note, I witnessed a pack of portly Hispanic men (well, perhaps only 3 guys, but they made up for their numbers in sheer mass) wrestling the last case of bottled water in the grocery away from an elderly Black woman. Hmm...did behaviour of that sort make you hombres feel "mucho-macho"? NOT COOL, amigos!

(I am aware that not everyone will consider the photos I post over the next few days to be very exciting, but just deal with it. SistahP in Oklahoma, the homies like E.J. back in San Diego, and my non-U.S. dwelling blogging buddies like Storm Trooper will probably enjoy the updates...)

Dear Bloggers

2005-09-23T09:19:00.001-04:00

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

At last the long delayed and promised letter. You mustn't complain tho because I wrote to no one. All I did when I had a chance to rest was to throw myself in bed, dead to the world. I am in Paris now on permission, a month late, and am enjoying the luxuries of life including ice cream, sheets, cafes and things. What I have done and am doing here I will tell you in a few days, at present I'll only say your last letter (Aug. 13) speaking of my trip to Paris, came a day too late.

Now for the Verdun attack you know of course that the French made (Aug. 20) a very successful attack there taking over 10,000 men and, what is far more important hills, which cost the boche thousands of lives to take.

The French have a saying to the effect that no one comes out of Verdun the same. As the fighting is stiff there always the statement is probably true for all times, it certainly is true of Verdun during an attack. It would take a book to tell about all that happened there and when I try to write, little incidents entirely unconnected come to my mind so I don't know where or how to begin.

We were in historic ground and it looked it. All the hills (and the country right in front of Verdun is all hills) have been fought over many times and the result is that they are in waves of dirt with one shell hole overlapping the next; no grass or anything growing; no trees but where there used to be a forest you can see some black spots where the roots remain. One of our posts was out beyond and between Forts Douamont and Vaux. Everybody even in America must know of Douamont and Vaux. That post incidentally was about 1800 meters from the boche and they could see us thru a gap whenever we went out there. We were practically the only vehicles to do so. We used to pass thru the former village of Fleury but I went thru it many times before I knew where it was and only located it finally when I was told that where the road turned there used to be a railroad station. Besides the desolation visible to the eye there was the desolation visible to the nose. You could often see old bones, boots, clothing and things besides lots of recent ones. Every night before the attack the roads were packed with traffic, guns, munitions and all manner of stuff. These made it bad for us so we preferred and did (counter to orders at first) run in daylight when it was supposed to be more dangerous. The traffic at night would move very slowly, would run into you, would always get blocked either because someone went in the ditch (it was very rainy and muddy at the first) or because as was more often the case some vehicle would get hit by a shell. The roads were being shelled nearly all the time. Every ambulance (all 20) was hit by one or more pieces of eclat and three were badly hit killing some of the wounded in them. Just before daylight every morning the traffic would all fade away leaving the roads all day to us alone. Then we could count the nights wreckage. On one curve about 100 yds long we counted 15 horses and 8 wagons one morning, all hit during the night. The horses were generally left until after the attack but the pieces of men were usually collected and buried immediately but not always. There was one spot I remember where nothing but a mans leg (naked) lay for over a week. We saw a lot of nasty sights and smelt a lot of nasty smells. I've seen them burying bodies so rotten and full of maggots that the buryers had to wear their gas masks while doing the job, which consists of digging a hole and rolling the body in it.

We did excellant work which brought praise to us from everyone. Now that it is over it doesn't seem so bad but during it we were almost exhausted. The hardest time for us was during the artillery preparation for the attack, the attack itself being so successful we were agreeably surprised. There were on the day of the attack only 500 wounded in our division. We would drive every other 24 hours and frequently would be called out on our off day. It was a routine of work to exhaustion. Throw yourself into bed, drag yourself out to work again. That was why I didn't write and why it helped so to receive letters. There were 3 of us Americans wounded, the worst will probably lose his arm. One fellow got hit but was carrying a watch in his pocket. The watch was bent in a U shape and he only got a bruise.

I had a very close call with gas which they used a lot especially in one little valley that formed a pocket for it. There was another American section that came up to take over one of our many posts during the attack and luckily on this night I took one of their men to show him the road. It was just about dusk when we started (my fifth trip that day to the worst post the section has ever had) and we got without much excitement to within about 1,000 yds of the post when a big motor truck 100 yds in front of me got hit by a shell (they were coming in pretty fast) and completely blocked the road. I couldn't get by and there were too many shells coming in for anyone to try and clear the truck off the road so I and this other fellow crawled in a trench alongside the road and waited. We huddled there a long time getting splashed several times by mud thrown by shells exploding, when gas shells started to come in great numbers. I decided we had better go on to the post where we would be safer and from where we could warn the others by telephone. We started crawling throwing ourselves flat, crawling again (gas masks on of course). To make a long story short and leaving out several interesting steps we got to within about 100 yds of the post (a great big dug out almost a tunnel in the hill) when I was about buried by a shell and a few seconds later a big gas shell went off within 20 ft of me. Something hit me on the head, making a big dent in my helmet and raising a bump on my head. If it hadn't been for my helmet my head would have been cracked. As it was I was dazed, knocked down and my gas mask knocked off. I got several breathes of the strong solution right from the shell before it got diluted with much air. If it hadn't been for the fellow with me I probably wouldn't be writing this letter because I couldn't see, my eyes were running water and burning, so was my nose and I could hardly breathe. I gasped, choked and felt the extreme terror of the man who goes under in the water and will clutch at a straw. The fellow with me grabbed me and led me the hundred yards or so to the post where the doctor gave me a little stuff and where I became alright again in a few hours except that I was a little intoxicated from the gas for a while. I had other close calls but that was the closest and shook me up most.

I think the hardest thing I did was to go back again alone the next night. I had to call myself names before I got up nerve enough.

I could keep on telling incidents almost indefinitely; how one fellow had a badly gased man that somehow managed to get out of the ambulance and who ran around asking the fellow to kill him and after they got him in the ambulance again, was dead when they reached the hospital; how often you had to get out and drag dead or wounded horses out of the way; how sometimes a fellow alone with badly wounded men would have to run over a wounded horse; how I picked up some men on the road before the doctor had bandaged them; how the new gas burns horribly; how a piece of eclat big as a fist came in our tent one night; how an automobile was blown on a housetop; how a munitions depot nearly gave us some thrilling fireworks one night; how I talked 20 ft underground for 5 or 6 hours with some boche prisoners, much to my surprise I found that my German was good enough after _ an hours practise to carry on quite an intelligent conversation; how we saw several thousand prisoners; how some of the fellows collected their helmets, gas masks and other souvenirs; how well the fellows showed up so that it was a pleasure to work with them, with one or two exceptions; how the guns would flash so at night that for some time the next day your eyes would quiver; how through a mistake we did for two weeks twice as much work as any section was supposed to; how the roads were so bad and shot up that the wounded would be thrown about no matter how slowly you went whereat they would sometimes yell in agony.

All that and more I could tell you but I won't. Instead I'll say that you can't complain that this is a short note. Also that one reason why I never have put stamps on my letters is because the soldiers mail is supposed to go free F.M. (franchise militaire) the other reason being that you couldn't buy stamps anywhere at the front if you wanted to.

I sure wish I could have been at H.L. when you were but that isnt all I wish so what's the use of starting and what's the use of telling you when you are so far away.

I have about 10 letters and want to get them all off to-day and to-morrow if possible so that I can enjoy myself with an easy conscience. Altho by that time I will have to write again and tell you about how I have - it almost slipped out. Perhaps I'll have two things of importance to tell you. One you'll like and the other you ought to.

You know how I want to end that way,
Morning Wood

Check out this video - its fucked up!

2005-09-23T09:19:00.000-04:00

http://gorillamask.net/prom.shtml

Which One of My Pets Just Pissed In My Bed?

2005-09-23T02:28:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't read this blog on a regular basis, I have a dog and two rabbits. I'll give you the history in a succinct, easy to understand list:

1. Purchased rabbits on a whim 2 years ago as a gift for my girlfriend. I did no research and knew nothing about how to care for them besides the usaul stuff.
2. Was yelled at by my landlord and threatened because the rabbits chewed up the walls, pissed everywhere, and made the place stink. I did not have permission to have the rabbits in that place.
3. Moved out and lost my damage deposit - obviously. The carpet was FUCKED...
4. Moved into my current place an thought it would be a good idea to have the rabbits in my room where there was yet another carpet.
5. They wrecked the new carpet, chewed through my television chord, and made the entire house stink.
6. We decide to get a dog.
7. He pisses everywhere ruining all the carpets in the house (besides the bedroom).
8. We move the rabbits to the linoleum kitchen. Thinks seem better.
9. We tear up the rugs and replace them with fake hardwood - the sticky tiles.
10. Place smells better.

Then last night I climbed into bed and put my knee in dog puke. I had to sleep on a towel because I didn't want to wake up my girlfriend.

AND THEN: today I'm tucking in my girlfriend and look at the towel - and it's wet! I smell it. ONE OF THE FUCKING PETS PISSED IN THE BED! I can't tell who it was or when the fuck it happened. The dog was with us all night so I think it was one of the bunnies. But Who?! I will investigate further.

Fucking pets. It's kind of sad that any one of those fuckers could have done it...
I'm a poor disciplinarian. Maybe I should start beating them. FUCK!

And now I have to sleep on another towel because my girlfriend is asleep.

Peak Oil

2005-09-21T06:13:00.000-04:00

Well, seeing as I have a job orientation/skills test tomorrow at a bank, it only seems fitting that I can neither sleep or abuse alcohol or drugs. Now I'm going to wake up in three hours, feel like shit, and be unable to think clearly. Maybe I should have smoked a joint eight hours ago. I've been neglecting this blog for the past week or two because I've been getting frustrated with the bullshit sensitivity of bloggers on the whole. This blog is no longer carried in blogger listings, any blog exchange shit, and gets less and less traffic each day. Fuck.

Anyway, I saw a wicked documentary the other day called "The End of Suburbia: Oil Depletion and the End of the American Dream." It was extremely depressing, disturbing, frightening, and made me extremely paranoid. First off, it postulated that we are at a stage in which world oil production has peaked, or will very shorty, and since our economies are tied almost uniformly with the production and consumption of oil, our economies and way of life will inevitably end. Oil companies (according to Wikipedia) deny that any such problem is an immediate threat, but the experts who spoke in the film suggested that research shows quite the contrary.

What are the problems with higher-priced, less available energy sources? The documentary suggested that, of course, all products that are dependent upon oil either in their initial production and ultimate transport, or dependent upon oil for energy will become more expensive and thusly less available to people. Food prices, for example, would skyrocket and force populations to flood either into tightly-knit population centres or into rural settings (de-urbanization and re-urbanization) in an effort to simply supress the necessity for high oil consumption. People would be more involved in labour intensive activities to produce food and other products. We will entre a period of deglobalization.

In my past writings I expressed a fear of a sort of American-based, technology-driven totalitarian lifestyle in which individual freedom was no more than a mythology. I didn't factor in the possibility that post-war America, constructed on the back of oil exploitation, was perhaps a major mistake and that it was doomed from the get go. On the other hand, peak oil was discussed in 1949 and ignored. Is there a more sinister plan?

The documentary also suggested that we have entred the "infinite war" for resources wherein the great states will wage minature or larger conflicts to secure the final oil stocks. The question was posed: "what is the only reason we're in Iraq?" and after it was pointed out that 60% of the world's remaining resources are under Saudi Arabia, Iraq, and other middle eastern nations - well, you get the picture.

Check this film out. I rented it and found it fascination. It might be wrong in its assumptions, but the recent gas hikes, wars, and so forth were predicted and explained by this film if it is correct.

2005-09-21T06:08:00.001-04:00

Retard.

2005-09-21T06:08:00.000-04:00

Nggggggggggh! *gurgle* Aaaaiiiiiiiig!

2005-09-21T06:07:00.000-04:00

Ha ha!

2005-09-21T06:06:00.000-04:00

A Child of Bikini Atoll: What a fucking retard

The ariadneK challenge...

2005-09-19T02:15:00.000-04:00

Storm Trooper recently declared a "One Month Sobriety Challenge" for himself.

Coerodeus just started a "72 Hour Porn- and THC-free Challenge".

What the hell; I'll participate with a self-imposed "One Week Tobacco-free Challenge" beginning at, I guess, 12:00am...so it actually started nearly an hour ago. I'm sure it will fuck with my insomnia issues even more, but that has remained crappy enough (additionally given that I only take Unisom rather than Ambien for it now) that it shouldn't make much of a difference. It will be interesting to see whether I can endure the first couple of days alright...without killing anyone. ;-) Obviously this is something that I might try to pursue for longer than a week, IF I make it through the initial challenge!

Comments, condolences, and/or condemnation freely encouraged. ;-)

A most disturbing website

2005-09-18T22:17:00.000-04:00

I found a rather scary site the other day entitled "Bible Stories, Psalms, and Prayers for Children". As many of us already realize, the right-wing Christian nuts who waste their breath condemning Islamics for "brain-washing" children from early ages in fact practice the very thing that they are so busy accusing others of. Hypocrisy's a BITCH, ain't it? Hmm...aren't these the same individuals who rant about the "dangers" of pornographic and hate-based websites to their children? Well, I tell ya what: I would be equally (if not more so) opposed to a child of mine running across a holy-roller site such as this; it is simply a hate site of a different flavour.

No surprise, just felt like sharing. ;-)

If you have a micro-penis...

2005-09-16T00:40:00.000-04:00

YOU'D BETTER CLICK HERE!

The Worst President In History?

2005-09-15T04:02:00.000-04:00

I have declared on several occasions that "George Bush is the worst president in the history of the USA." I have outlined some of the things that I think make him the worst:
1. His questionable victory in the 2001 election
2. His incoherently stupid, often contradictory oratory skills and inability to communicate with either the media or common people
3. His failure to act on information about a potential terrorist attack before 9/11 (not to discount Clinton).
4. His short-sighted response to terrorism - the escalation of the "War On Terror"
5. His entrance into the Iraq war despite the UN's pleas for more time
6. All of the events that followed the Iraq war
7. His disastrous domestic policy - both economically and socially
8. His use of potential terrorism to frighten Americans
9. The Patriot Act and other decay in America's freedom
10. His consistent, record- setting deficits
11. His failure to maintain the principles of separation of church and state (and all influenced policies)
12. His inability to develop or maintain international relationships
13. His administration's lack of preparedness and subsequently catastrophic response to Hurricane Katrina
14. His refusal to participate in environmental accords (Kyoto or other) that might affect the American economy
15. His neglect of the poor or disadvantaged
16. Gun control (or lack thereof)
And the list goes on...

Interestingly enough, I checked out a few sites to see what they think of George W. Bush as far as being the worst president.
Here are links that both agree and disagree with me. There are some very good points on both sides.

The Historians
A Letter to the Editor of Some Newspaper (good points)
An obviously liberal rating of the best and worst presidents - but interesting
Another liberal perspective
The "Bush is Smarter than we think and it's all an act" theory
Bush's record-setting vacation time...
Bush's approval rating
Successes
Intelligent Design: success for the religious nuts?
Pro - Bush
Blogs for Bush

I think I got sort of a balance. The funny thing is, if you Google things like "The Worst President in US History" it inevitably comes up "George W. Bush." If you try looking for Pro-Bush sites, it's a little more difficult. I don't know if it means that more leftists/anti-Bush use the internet, or if there are honestly more articles critical of Bush. I guess I could look deeper - go to Christian sites or something, but they freak me out. Anyway, argue with me. Ok?

The U.S. Electoral College: democracy's bastard child

2005-09-14T22:26:00.000-04:00

MY DEAREST MORNING WOOD,

I was going to leave a comment in response to your question about my last post but decided to reply here in a stand-alone rant instead...

Your question: "What happened in California?"

My response:

It has to do in part with the distribution of Electoral College votes across the United States; California (which is actually so dominant that it currently boasts the 6th-largest economy...in the WORLD: fuck, California should just secede and be its own country...I'd move back in a heartbeat) as a whole has been almost invariably liberal in presidential elections...and the fact that the state holds more electoral votes at stake than any other state means that Cali can make or break the momentum of any national election. Unless, of course, the presidential candidate's brother is the governor of Florida, in which case Florida becomes important. Speaking "hypothetically" there, of course. ;-)

As a side note, the U.S. Electoral College grants votes to a candidate based on "winner of the state's popular vote takes all"), a candidate winning the popular vote in a state by even only a fraction of a percent is awarded EVERY SINGLE ONE of that state's electoral votes. Bullshit, eh? It's especially crappy given that, while our "illustrious government" wants to "promote democracy abroad" (excuse me while I turn my head to vomit a bit; I don't want to get any on my keyboard), we obviously don't even have "true" democracy here, so how in the hell do we expect to spread it? In short, the U.S. president is never elected by popular vote...only by assigned electoral ones.

Interestingly, as noted on Wikipedia (which presents a TON of interesting facts about the electoral college and how it functions; you might find it interesting to check out): "there is no mention whatsoever in the United States Constitution of an 'Electoral College'."

Hmmm...I wonder if that sexy ol' John Roberts would rule accordingly that the Electoral College is in fact unconstitutional and ask for its dissolution? I'm thinkin' not. ;-) Your thoughts?

Oh, duh, and the reason I got off on this tangent anyway (I get fired up enough by American politics that my train of thought derails quite easily when I'm pissed off, which happens to be every time I think of the U.S. government) is that Washington (as in D.C., not the old fart who supposedly chopped down a cherry tree as a wee lad) never seems to give a fuck about California until elections loom large...at which point candidates tend to fly in for single-day stops in San Diego (possibly the most conservative county in that state, which is ironic since I moved there from Oklahoma and was delighted by the liberal philosophy...not just politically but in terms of life in general...abounding there; then again, coming from the U.S. "Bible Belt", ANYTHING might have seemed liberal!) for photo opportunities at the military bases. Remember the now legendary moment only months after the U.S. started shit in Iraq and George W. Bush declared that the war was over while standing aboard an aircraft carrier bearing a banner which declared "Mission Accomplished"? Yup...that took place not far from where I lived then. There are a hell of a lot of dead servicemen, and even more casualties among Iraqi civilians, who were never informed that the military skirmish has already been "won" within a matter of days by the U.S., I guess. ;-)

Letter to the Red States (sorry dudes, but this is an American thing, AND a cross-post; it rocks though!)

2005-09-14T02:31:00.000-04:00

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

-- You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
-- We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
-- We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
-- We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
-- We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
-- We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
-- We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
-- We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the Red States pay their fair share.
-- Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that New California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high-tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Berkeley, CalTech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red States believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

So there.

Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California

Mama Mia!

2005-09-12T03:16:00.000-04:00

I went to see the musical "Mama Mia" today in the newly revamped Jubilee Auditorium. They did an excellent job with the place, although I don't remember much what it looked like before because the last time I was in there was during high school convocation. For those of you who don't know, Mama Mia is a musical that splices a contemporary plot with the music of the Swedish disco group, ABBA. It was done extremely well except I have a few critiques which I won't share here.

The thing is: the shit depressed me for some reason. The story revolved around a girl who was getting married on a Greek isle. After finding her mother's diary from 1979, she realizes her long lost father must be one of three men listed in the journal. Apparently her mother whored around back in the day.

She contacts all three men and invites them to the wedding under the guise of her mother's signature on the letters. They show up. Hilarity ensues.

The thing that got me about the play was that, even though it was imaginary, it sort of rang true. I suppose that was the intent, but it caught me off guard. It painted my parent's generation as one of growth, change, almost revolution; but it also showed that people in those times were just as confused as we are now. They did not know where the future would lead. The 20-year-old kids in the play were well adjusted, practical, and seemingly the prey of cultural whimsy. The story drew parallels, but it also showed how very different thirty years could make someone - especially in this age of insanity.

I don't know what I'm trying to say - but it depressed the fuck out of me. Maybe it was seeing the inevitabilty of life.

Month of Sobreity

2005-09-11T05:52:00.000-04:00

Beginning September 1st, I swore off liquor for one month. I thought it might be hard to do since I've been completely sauced up for about three months straight (without exception). Thankfully, I think I only have trouble with habit forming activities - not addiction. I had about one day of feeling crabby and then I was fine. No sweat.

I was afraid that I was becoming a bit of an alcoholic. Apparently not.

When I quit smoking it was the same thing - a couple days and the addiction was gone. The trick after that was to avoid them. No problem. I haven't touched a smoke in almost a year even with all of my friends smoking. I kick ass.

The only problem right now is that I am having sleep problems. Sobreity SUCKS ASS. I've been wide awake until 6 am everyday since I quit drinking. WHAT THE FUCK?

I thought about getting some sleep aids. No offence to ariadneK, but I've heard shitty things about ambien so I decided to avoid it. I tried sinutab one day, which did work, but I woke up feeling like a raped cow vagina. Tonight I'm giving benedryl a go. I'm pretty fucked up right now. AWESOME.

You can't do that shit for too long without becoming dependent. Bleah. What to do?

The Thin Red Line

2005-09-09T08:58:00.000-04:00

Whenever I watch war movies, I always think about new and more efficient ways of killing the enemy. Or how I would take out the bad guys if I was the good guy in the movie. Like in the Thin Red Line, the scene where they're all wading along the river, and the crazy Japanese soldiers are shooting at them - I would totally climb up in a tall tree and throw grenades at them. Or in Saving Private Ryan, how they walk up to find that radar station, why the hell didn't they just snipe the guy from behind a dead cow carcus? I mean, they had Jackson there, he's pretty good with that rifle.

My Blogging History

2005-09-08T05:29:00.000-04:00

1. I asked about blogging and was told to go to blogger.com
2. I created a blog
3. I started posting about eating puppies to offend people (it didn't work)
4. I started posting random things out of rebellion
5. Tried to make my blog as insane as possible
6. Incorporated politics
7. Was joined by Morning Wood (formerly Hitlerman)
8. Was joined by Batman
9. Was joined by ariadneK
10. Blog got crazier.
11. ariadneK fixed our template
12. We started promoting on Blog Explosion (primarily).
13. Our hits went up exponentially
14. I discovered that bloggers take things very seriously after I got kicked off blog explosion
15. Kicked off blog clicker
16. Kicked off some crappy one
17. Found Jesus
18. Warned by Yahoo for violating their terms of agreement
19. I repented
20. Here I am - hoping to succeed with Blog Advance

AWESOME!

2005-09-08T05:28:00.000-04:00

Kitty - he really hates you.

2005-09-08T05:26:00.000-04:00

2005-09-07T13:45:00.000-04:00

My secret fantasies

Fuck Yeah!

2005-09-07T12:45:00.000-04:00

Since the 4th anniversary of sept 11th is coming up...

2005-09-06T21:14:00.000-04:00

CLICK ON THE FUCKING TITLE! YOU ASSHOLES!

CLICK HERE

2005-09-06T05:20:00.000-04:00

Anybody want to see some clips from Trailer Park Boys???
Click Above.

"I think I threw up a little in my mouth"

2005-09-05T20:48:00.000-04:00

Remember that line from the movie "Dodgeball"? I thought it was hilarious, and it definitely fits the thoughts that I had upon reading this post in another blog recently. In my usual fashion, I found it difficult NOT to leave a response to this "good" Christian soul:

Well I hope your "Lord" can forgive your self-centered and callous regard for human life. "As long as it's mom, I can worry, but screw those people devastated by Katrina".

2005-09-05T20:02:00.000-04:00

My life in a nutshell...

2005-09-05T05:37:00.000-04:00

Why are the majority of Katrina's victims black? Is it because, simply, more than two thirds of the population in New Orleans and the surrounding areas is black? Is it because those particular black people could neither afford transportation or accomodations outside of their homes? Is this a sign of merely a grand chasm that exists in America in which the problems of race and class have not yet been addressed - that people in the south were comfortable not answering the questions and avoiding the topics? Or is it that in any given disaster there will always be stubborn people - the majority of whom in this case are black? If they had been white, would it have made a difference to the agencies responsible for both evacuations and rescue? Is this an overarching conspiracy of the rich white folk in power? Or is this just a coincidental, monumental mistake that exaserbated a disaster? Should we remember that for the thousands left behind to perish, millions got out? Or should we remember that it took close to five days to begin any sizable relief effort? Was that effort reasonably deterred by threats to the national guard (security and weather)? Or was it withheld out of stupidity and oversight?

Why are the majority of Katrina's victims black? I don't know. Mark my word: America's race relations are FUCKED. Watch what happens over the next two months...

Uh...why hasn't the U.S. jumped on such gracious offers of support?

2005-09-05T02:38:00.000-04:00

The "self-sufficient American pride" thing only goes so far; when thousands of lives have already been lost and countless others are at stake, why play games?

(CNN) -- The oil-rich nation of Qatar has offered the United States $100 million to assist in the humanitarian crisis triggered by Hurricane Katrina.

The state-run Qatar News Agency said Saturday that Qatar's emir, Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani, decided to contribute that amount for relief "and humanitarian supplies for the victims of this disaster."

The U.S. government has received offers of support from dozens of nations across the globe.

As of Friday, the White House had not accepted any offers, but Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the State Department was "working very closely with the Department of Homeland Security to match up what is available with what is needed."

There was no immediate word whether the United States would take Qatar up on its offer.

Other offers of aid and assistance have come in from countries around the world -- including from India, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Indonesia, the four countries hardest-hit by the December 26 Asian tsunami.

The State Department said offers of help had been received from more than 50 countries, including:

Australia, Austria, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, Belgium, Canada, China, Columbia, Cuba, Dominica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, France, Germany, Guatemala, Greece, Guyana, Honduras, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Paraguay, Philippines, Portugal, South Korea, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Switzerland, Sweden, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, United Kingdom, the United Arab Emirates, and Venezuela.

International organizations also offered help ranging from medical teams to tents to cash donations. They include NATO, the Organization of American States, the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, and the World Health Organization.

The United Nations has offered to help coordinate international relief.

State Department officials have not yet said if any of these offers -- beyond specific offers of cash to humanitarian organization -- have been accepted.

Following is a list of some of the aid offered by governments.

-- Sri Lanka has offered what it called a "token contribution" of $25,000 through the American Red Cross.

-- Mexico has offered $1 million and is sending 15 truckloads of water, food and medical supplies via Texas. The Mexican navy has offered to send two ships, two helicopters and 15 amphibious vehicles.

-- Australia is giving A$10 million ($7.6 million), most of it to the American Red Cross.

-- China has offered $5 million.

-- India is making a $5 million donation to the American Red Cross, Ambassador Ronen Sen said Saturday. In addition, Sen said India was willing to donate essential medicines to the relief effort, noting that India has the largest number of Food and Drug Administration-recognized pharmaceutical companies outside the United States.

-- Germany has offered a wide range of assistance including evacuation by air, medical services, transportation services, water treatment capabilities, assistance in searching for victims, vaccination teams and supplies, and emergency shelter. Germany has also said it is ready and willing to "dip into its own emergency oil reserves" to release some 2 million barrels a day for 30 days.

-- France has offered mobile help from the French Antilles, which is relatively close to the affected regions, including a civil defense detachment of 35 people, tents, camp beds, generators, motor pumps, water treatment units and emergency kits, two CASA cargo aircraft, a ship (Batral Francis Garnier) and the frigate Ventose with its Panther helicopter, and a hurricane disaster unit (20 soldiers and 900 kg of specialized supplies and medical support). France has also offered assistance from the French mainland including: one or two C-135 planes, one A-310 aircraft , and four C-160 Transalls, an airborne emergency unit. In addition, the NGO Telecoms Sans Frontieres, which specializes in restoring phone lines and Internet service in disasters, is ready to send a team of experts and equipment. Veolia Environment, which has facilities in Louisiana, has offered to make its local water management resources available to the American authorities or the Red Cross. It can also quickly send in a team of hydraulic experts.

-- Japan has offered to provide $200,000 to the American Red Cross. The government of Japan will identify needs in the affected regions through the U.S. government and, upon request, is ready to provide necessary and available emergency assistance supply amounting to up to $300,000 worth of items such as tents, blankets, power generators, portable water tanks and more from a supply depot maintained by the Japanese government in Florida.

-- Cuba's President Fidel Castro said on Friday his nation was ready to send 1,100 doctors and 26 tons of medicine and equipment.

Asia

AUSTRALIA: "We're going to provide A$10 million ($7.6 million) and the bulk of that money, if not all of it, will go to the American Red Cross," said Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer. The Australian government said there may be up to 24 Australians trapped in Louisiana in the aftermath of Katrina.

CHINA: China offered $5 million in aid for victims of Hurricane Katrina which devastated the Gulf Coast ahead of President Hu Jintao's U.S. visit. If needed, the Chinese government is also prepared to send rescue workers, including medical experts, officials said.

JAPAN: Will provide $200,000 to the American Red Cross to assist victims of Hurricane Katrina, the Japanese Foreign Ministry said on Friday. Japan will also identify needs in affected regions via the U.S. government and will provide up to $300,000 in emergency supplies such as tents, blankets and power generators if it receives requests for such assistance, the ministry said.

SINGAPORE: The Singapore Armed Forces, responding to requests by the United States Texas Army National Guard, has sent three Chinook helicopters to Fort Polk, Louisiana, to help in relief efforts. The government said the Chinooks will help to ferry supplies and undertake airlift missions.

SOUTH KOREA: Has pledged aid and is waiting for a U.S. response, a government official said. "We have sent our intention to offer recovery aid," a Foreign Ministry official said on Friday.

SRI LANKA: Will donate $25,000 to the American Red Cross.

TAIWAN: Has pledged more than $3 million to the relief effort.

Americas

CANADA: Offered to help in any way it can and the navy is preparing a ship full of emergency disaster relief supplies to be sent when a request comes.

CUBA: Cuban President Fidel Castro offered to fly 1,100 doctors to Houston with 26 tons of medicine to treat disaster victims.

MEXICO: The country is sending 15 truckloads of water, food and medical supplies via Texas and the Mexican navy has offered to send two ships, two helicopters and 15 amphibious vehicles.

VENEZUELA: President Hugo Chavez, a vocal critic of the United States, offered to send cheap fuel, humanitarian aid and relief workers to the disaster area.
Europe

EUROPEAN UNION: EU countries are ready to give the United States oil if it requests help, EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana said on Friday. But British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said this was not what the EU had in mind when it discussed how to help.

FRANCE: Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin said France was ready to offer support, telling TF1 television: "We have rescue teams based in the Caribbean and we are naturally ready to provide aid to the Americans, and that is what we have told them."

GERMANY: Has offered mobile units to provide clean water, military hospital facilities and medical aid.

ITALY: Has offered to "immediately" send aid and evacuation specialists, Italy's civil protection unit said. Authorities have prepared two military transport planes to fly amphibious vessels, pumps, generators, tents and personnel to New Orleans and other areas. They were awaiting word from U.S. officials, the unit said.

NETHERLANDS: Will provide teams for inspecting dykes and for identifying victims if there is a formal request from the United States. It will also send a frigate from Curacao to New Orleans shortly to provide emergency assistance, the government said.

RUSSIA: Has offered to help with rescue efforts, but is still awaiting a reply from Washington. "Above all with heavy transport planes, which can be loaded with helicopters and generators -- as there is no electricity in the area of the catastrophe," Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said.

SPAIN: Expects to receive a formal request to release gasoline stocks to the United States and is prepared to grant it, an Industry Ministry spokesman said.

SWEDEN: The Rescue Authority said it was on stand-by to supply water purifying equipment, healthcare supplies and emergency shelters if needed.

UNITED KINGDOM: British Prime Minister Tony Blair has said Britain stands ready to help the United States in whatever way it can.

Middle East

SAUDI ARABIA: Saudi Refining, a Houston-based subsidiary of state oil firm Saudi Aramco, will donate $5 million to the American Red Cross to support relief efforts for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

CNN State Department Correspondent Andrea Koppel contributed to this report

The Bush Government

2005-09-03T14:25:00.000-04:00

Too many black people in New Orleans to help.

Sentiments from "The Token American" blog member

2005-09-01T03:24:00.000-04:00

KATRINA RELIEF
(please help!!!)

2005-08-31T05:17:00.000-04:00

This is me after drinking WAY TOO MUCH one night. I don't know why the hell I took a picture of myself - that's drunkenness for you. Note the almost black eyes. God I'm a freak.

2005-08-31T05:09:00.000-04:00

Morning Wood's twin sisters. And yes, I have been with them at the same time.

2005-08-31T00:45:00.000-04:00

AWESOME!

Weekly misadventures

2005-08-30T21:43:00.000-04:00

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. I've been packing to move and working and getting ready for school so it's been a bit hectic around here. Of course, it wasn't so hectic I couldn't find some time to break the law.

Went out on Saturday night. Had an intense wrestling match with my buddy. My arm still hurts on Tuesday after this scissorlock he had me in. We found a skycrane in an empty parking lot. So we hijacked it and fucked around for 10 minutes before bailing since the place was totally heated out. Climbed some buildings. Played some tag. Ended up with nowhere to crash so we got into my other buddies apartment without a key and no outside help. Woke up in the morning and headed back to my friend's truck only to discover he had lost his keys somewhere during our expeditions. It was parked at yet another friend's home. So we broke into the truck and got a look at the locking mechanism. Broke into the garage where it was parked to get the tools needed for hotwiring. Successfully hotwired the truck and off we went. He can now get into his truck without any tools and only needs a flathead to start it, but it still looks secure to an observer. Later that day we realized we got past 5 locks in under 10 hours (asleep for 7) without even trying. We're dirty thieves and totally rabble, but every single crime we committed was either for hilarity or neccessity and most importantly, victimless.

We also came up with a plan to have a drink-a-long sing-a-long to '99 bottles of beer on the wall' at the new place. We got a pipe-bender and a welder. All I need now is a drill press and a table saw and we can fabricate anything we want to with ease.

"Interesting" blog visitor:

2005-08-30T03:52:00.000-04:00

(Goes well with the visit I had earlier this month from the ATF, eh?)

Sign of the Apocalypse for August 29, 2005

2005-08-29T22:51:00.000-04:00

"Amazon quietly cashes in on sex toy market: range of more risqué products dramatically increases"

2005-08-29T07:33:00.000-04:00

That's what I think of you.

2005-08-29T05:36:00.000-04:00

This is fucking HOT!

Beautiful photo!!!

2005-08-29T03:36:00.000-04:00

(Yes, I fully realize that this is a cross-post from my blog, but you boys should really appreciate it) :-)

I randomly found an amazing photograph; the title is "Rare Saturday Night Flirtation", and it's DEFINITELY worth a look. Click the image on the site for a larger view. :-)

A Riddle

2005-08-29T03:32:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, I made up a riddle. There is one answer.

What place in the world do you know best?

I'll expect someone to get this. No hints.

Sex, anyone?!?

2005-08-29T02:55:00.000-04:00

Brief survey: how many of you, Dear Readers & Fellow Blog Members, have a particularly amusing, sensuous, or otherwise interesting story to share regarding bondage in (of course) a sexual context? You go first!

Shit

2005-08-29T00:45:00.000-04:00

I bought Unforgiven on DVD today, and I can't watch it on my computer. It's like my dvd drive doesn't recognize a disc has been inserted. Any ideas?

Sign of the Apocalypse for August 28, 2005

2005-08-28T21:21:00.000-04:00

"A district mayor [Gyorgy Mitnyan, 12th district] in Budapest has proposed a dress code for City Hall employees under which only women with 'pretty legs' can wear miniskirts"

(Hmmm...his first name has "orgy" in it; could that be of significance? Also, what are the criteria for acceptable legs going to be? Do you think they will waste taxpayers' money by hiring a full-time "leg-tester"? Sounds like a job that Morning Wood might enjoy!)

2005-08-28T19:55:00.000-04:00

What Coerodus will look like in Heaven...

Hey Storm Trooper

2005-08-27T11:38:00.000-04:00

Do you have any good tampon stories you would like to share with your fellow bloggers?

And in the end...

2005-08-26T06:26:00.000-04:00

Will the pursuit of profit benefit man in the end? One the one hand, capitalism has provided humans in western countries with a greater access to material wealth, prolonged the overall life expectancy, has improved quality of life; in a sense, the pursuit (at least in the last century) has improved the lives of more people. On the other hand, capitalism has resulted in or participated in the abuse of animals for human gain, the abuse of humans for the elite's gain, war, destruction; it has been a reflection of the darkness that exists with in the human soul - greed.

Is capitalism by default the only economic system that will work within a democratic society; a liberal society? Is the social progress we've made in society a result of a complex trickle-down effect in which the attainment of material wealth enables individuals - enables women; minorities - and allows for their individual rights to be observed? Without the pursuit of profit, would the spirit of competition also have been limited and therefore fallen to devices of the past like feudalism?

Is there a point at which capitalism turns into another demonic form? Is there a threshold?

Is material wealth the key to freedom?

"Yes They're Fake!"

2005-08-26T05:15:00.000-04:00

Check out the Cosmetic Surgery & Plastic Surgery Network. It's a little bit terrifying. It was started by this 33 year-old girl in Las Vegas named Marianna Guarena (this link takes you to her story), who started having plastic surgery on a regular basis in 1998. The primary thing that I find freaky is that she looked pretty...and NORMAL looking...to begin with!

What forces drive people to get poked and stretched and pumped up in ways that nature never intended? They are called GRAVITY and the ELEMENTS AROUND US, folks, and we're all going to sag and wrinkle over time, but who really gives a rat's ass about it? Hell, I'm 34 and am quickly falling out of any childlike shape I ever had even two years ago. If I were to be judged on the basis of appearances only, I'd most definitely be screwed. You know what? I see it from the perspective of "as long as I am happy with the things I do on a daily basis, and as long as I have the mental capacities (along with proper meds...heheh) that allow me to engage my spirit in the world around me rather just focusing on rapidly whitening hair (it ain't going GRAY, just SOLID WHITE) sagging wrinkles on my eyelids, a growing butt, putting on a few pounds (which did have a slight bonus effect in that some of the poundage found its way to my boobs). I'm deep in the grasp of a double Ambien right now, so I'd better post this before it becomes an entire novel unto itself.

IN THE MEANTIME: People, PLEASE don't allow your subconscious fears of death encourage you to stretch your skin into unnatural forms just to "look younger or prettier". It's still just the "same old YOU" physically, but the ethereal spirit which your physical body merely serves as a cheap storage box for is FAR more significant.

We won't live forever.

The physical body, having served its purpose in housing the spirit, decays.

What is to become of a spirit neglected for the sake of improving the box in which it dwelt?

OKAY, it's way late and I'm probably sounding kinda funky, so off to bed for me!
ariK

Blog types that I fucking hate:

2005-08-26T00:23:00.000-04:00

I HATE blogs with any of the following characteristics; people who maintain blogs with ALL of these components should be euthanized as slowly and painfully as possible:

= "Mommy Blogs": do I even CARE to see your snot-nosed kid(s)? Do I care how often they take a shit or drool on you? If I wanted to know, I would ask. FUCK!!!

= Blogs decked out with pink backgrounds and cutesy little motifs. They just SCREAM "I am an adolescent chick that needs to get laid, and I think I'm a cute, delicate, virginal little girl". Yeah, right. You just keep telling yourself that.

= "I Am A Great Philosopher" blogs. I mean, what the hell?!? They typically involve some asswipe expounding upon something (typically in the realm of theology) as if they are an expert and we actually care about his/her opinion. They likely sit around and masturbate as they browse the comments that imbeciles stupid enough to eat their shit leave; of course, people who spew forth such blogs NEVER respond to the comments, because they are "Above Mere Mortal Earth Dwellers". I think a good buttfuck would knock some sense into them, ya think?

= Blogs that simply list a bunch of daily links to CNN news articles. Uh, I don't know about you, but I would more likely GO TO THE CNN WEBSITE DIRECTLY than tune in to catch up on current events on these pathetic blogs.

= Holy roller blogs: I wonder if their hands get sore from hitting the shift key every two seconds to capitalize every fucking "H" reference to God or Jesus? "Him", "He", "His" and so forth...and the inevitable "Amen!", "Praise the Lord", blah blah blah. The main point I gather from them is that if you're no a Christian, you're hellbound. How caring, loving, and compassionate can ya get?!?

= Blogs that want to "teach you about successful online marketing". GOD DAMN! If the people who published such blogs were so successful themselves, why the FUCK would they spend so much time farting around to maintain their blog and surf through BlogExplosion, Blog Clicker, etc. to advertise?

There are many other obnoxious blog types hurtling through the vast vacuum of cyberspace, including my own, but I think I am going to vomit just thinking about them, so until later, have fun posting your own shit online. ;-)

Whaddayah think?

2005-08-25T22:24:00.000-04:00

Does this douchebag look more like a politician or a used car salesman? It's a toss-up for me...

Then again, fuck it: both professions require a tremendous amount of dishonesty, so it doesn't really matter... ;-)

(John Roberts, President Bush's nominee to the U.S. Supreme Court)

Penelope

2005-08-25T16:21:00.000-04:00

Ha ha! Has anyone been keeping up on that penelope blog? What makes it so funny is that she's getting crazy comments. People are such assholes. And so am I - so I'm going to leave her the rottenest comment in the history of the world. Stay tuned.

Funny thing is, I came across another blog and the dude was spazzing about what a whore she is. The he analyzed her. Weird.

Click on the title to read the dude's post on her. To see "Penny's" blog click (HERE)

Bizoooooooo

2005-08-25T08:55:00.000-04:00

2005-08-25T08:15:00.000-04:00

I want to fuck Fonzie in the ass!!!!!!!! YEAH! This guy kicks ASSSSSSSSSSSS

For the blog pals:

2005-08-24T04:15:00.000-04:00

Our other blog, hosted by Morning Wood and entitled "Daily Dose of Insanity", has been accepted to BlogExplosion (I submitted it under my account and will be working to keep points flowing to it, as well as make a banner within the next few days)... Just an update!

Sign of the Apocalypse for August 23, 2005

2005-08-23T20:24:00.000-04:00

"Taliban Recruiting at Schools"

(Yet: how is this ANY different than U.S military recruiters trying to snag American high school students for enlistment right after they turn eighteen? Oh, I guess the U.S. considers it different because we won't allow anyone else to do what THEY do, kinda like not allowing anyone else to have nuke arsenals even as America increases its own...right?)